Even the most experienced professional presenter can get presentation anxiety sometimes. Recognizing the symptoms is the first step in controlling it. If you don’t recognize the symptoms of an anxiety attack, then your reactions may come too late. Sweating, hard breathing and nausea are some of the symptoms. Once you recognize the symptoms, you can react and do something to control the attack. The most vicious attack could be irrational fear. This is intense fear which you feel within you which may be disproportional to the threat. For instance, you fear you cannot answer their questions and the presentation may be rated as a failure. There are steps you can take to respond to their questions without necessarily having to answer them on the spot. The presentation might be considered a success despite your inability to respond to all their questions at that instant. The more important aspect is that you get back to the inquirer as soon as possible with the appropriate answers.

Here are some measures you can take to control any presentation anxiety you may be experiencing. Accept your nervousness. This is a normal reaction. Do not focus on the nervousness. Concentrate on the materials. Review the Gantt chart several times to make sure the contents and time frames are correct. Use the opportunity to think about what you are going to say. Do some deep breathing to bring out a calm and composed attitude. Once you are reasonably calm, you can focus on your presentation mentally. During the presentation, try to take a few deep breaths when you have the opportunity. It will relax your nerves.

Structure the presentation to gain rapport early. Get everyone into a relaxed mood. When people are calm and composed, you will be able to discuss the presentation topics clearly and objectively. Bring out the Gantt chart in the earliest time possible. A Gantt chart is a pictorial of the project and people enjoy looking at images and pictures. Go slowly through the milestones and time frames in the Gantt chart. This is your chance to take it easy and inform the audience on the project status slowly and carefully. Some people in the audience might get agitated once they see cost overruns or delayed tasks. Those situations are normal in most, if not all projects. It is very rare that a project can proceed on schedule and within budget throughout its entire project lifetime. In fact, management may even consider that perfect scenario as suspicious and a potential candidate for further investigation. Management is fully aware that there will be cases of cost overruns and delays in schedules, and they are prepared for those eventualities. What is more important is determining how to reduce the costs and bring the project back on track.

The Gantt chart is a good tool to use when explaining your recommendations to remediate the issues. Walk the audience through the Gantt chart and show them the tasks that will be remediated. Point out the effects on the subsequent activities as remediation is applied on the current tasks. Management will appreciate your in-depth knowledge of the project and support your recommendations to control the issues and bring the project to a successful completion. Just keep calm and don’t let the presentation anxieties take over your emotions. Think objectively in a calm and composed attitude. Visualize your presentation and imagine how it will proceed successfully from beginning to end. Positive visualization can enhance your self-confidence and resoluteness.

Why Fear Public Speaking When Presentation Skills Training Can Be Fun?

Many of us fear public speaking worse than death. Yet, confident public speaking is not that hard to achieve if you are willing to practice some basic presentation training skills. Just like learning to walk, the more you practice, the better you get and the more fun you can have.

Over 20 years of experience has demonstrated that most of us know basic presentation technique pretty well. Also, the more we relax into service, the easier speaking in front of others becomes. Could these two observations signal a fundamental connection between relaxing, service and confident public speaking?

For most of us, speaking in front of others increases stress. We become tense, breathe less and start thinking about the worst that can happen. We lose contact with our audience and ultimately confirm our worst suspicions about our ability to present. The more we think about our precarious situation we have now unconsciously created, the more we doom ourselves to being correct about why we fear speaking in public. Crazy!

What if the most powerful step in mastering public speaking is both one of the simplest and ironically one of the easiest to avoid or forget?

Serving others versus performing for yourself

You’re presentation skills will drastically improve the more you focus upon serving your listeners rather than performing for yourself. The first step is to become present to your listeners and their needs, wants and wishes. Instead of remaining in the dark and distant reaches of your head, listening to the little voice of your own ego, ask yourself:

• Does that little voice care at all about serving others or is its goal making sure you perform in a way that further justifies its existence?

• If all your energy is focused upon your own dark thoughts, how inspiring and engaging are you and your message going to be for those who came to hear you?

• Moreover, have you ever noticed that little voice in your head is not always your best friend?

• Not only that, if that little voice is actually you, then who is listening?

Ego thrives on performance.

Start paying closer attention to ego’s message and you will discover that it often has to do with separation and comparison. For instance, “Do they like me?”, “I could have said that better.”, “I should have worn another color today.” and “They just don’t understand!”. Listen closely and you will find that most if not all of this conversation has to do with measuring your performance against some perfect picture. Your little voice is an expert on what you are doing or saying wrong and the more you listen to it, the more you lose touch with your present reality. This of course insures more stress. These often cause more disconnect and pretty much insures your perceived failure as a public speaker. What is there to do?

Service, your key to success and the antithesis to egotistical performance demands.

Pure service is transparent. The more you disappear into serving someone else, the less focus and energy goes towards you and your little voice. You come out of those deep dark thoughts and into the light of service and success. You connect. The more you can practice serving others by catering to their listening the more you will master “moving” them into action towards your intended result. Here are some tips:

• Get present. The more you can actively practice being here, now, the more you will be open to connecting with what is going on around you. To help accomplish this, the more you dare to feel, the more present you are likely to become.

• Breathe in an inspiring manner. Most of us take in just enough air to survive to our next breath. How inspiring is that? Inspire comes from Latin and means to breathe in spirit. What if the deeper you breathe, the more you feel and the more inspiring you become?

• The less tense you become the more you will enter into the flow of life around you. Making every deep breath a joy will help.

• Listen with all your senses from a platform of service. Look closely into your listeners’ eyes with curiosity and an intention to serve them. Focus on discovering what is still missing in your message to allow them more space and energy for understanding and action.

• Reflect and respond with the appropriate words and conscious body language to help promote their understanding regardless of what your little voice thinks.

Whether you are a beginner or an expert public speaker, standing for and speaking from a platform of service will give you more power and leverage to deliver your message. The more present you are to serving, the less energy, focus and stress your ego will steal from you and your message. Your nervousness and fear of failure will lose their grip and your confident public speaking abilities will rise to the surface. You may even enjoy yourself!

Need to give a presentation in the office? Do not fret! Making the outstanding presentation isn’t as complicated. All you need is the following steps and you’ll be able to come up with the ideal presentation ever.

Prior to beginning work on a presentation, you need to have a clear understanding of the topic and objectives you are meant to deal with. Choose on whether the aim of your presentation is to teach, tell or persuade. For instance, in case you’re making a presentation on a lately launched treadmill, you should first figure out whether you want your slides to dispense further information about the product or persuade others to buy the same.

The subsequent in line step is to understand the target audience well. It’s crucial that the presentation suits the needs and retains the interest of the crowd. Ensure that you update yourself about their thinking pattern and their way of dealing with work and things in general. You cannot think to sustain the interest of a tech savvy audience by preparing a very basic and fundamental presentation.

Now that you are aware of the wishes and the interest of the audience, it is time to put it to use and create a presentation accordingly. Chat to people around and you may get a brilliant idea. Note down any thought that clicks you suddenly, in a notepad. Furthermore, you can also use popular brainstorming tools to make a note of ideas.

This brainstorming session should help you come up with a list of doable suggestions. Once you have a selection of the same, you may separate the better ones from the rest. Delete the ones that drop into the mediocre category or aren’t possible and set up the leftover suggestions in best to above average order.

Once you’ve zeroed in on a particular concept, you may use it to start writing a copy for your presentation. Don’t bother about grammatical errors and instead just concentrate on writing whatever comes to your head without stopping. After you’ve finished with the writing part, you may go ahead and edit your copy. Make sure your editing irons out all the chinks efficiently. At the end, you can polish your write-up further by adding finishing touches.

While it is significant to make the absolute presentation, it is essential to present the same in the greatest manner possible. Even the finest of presentations will cease to offer the desired outcomes, in case not put up in the right way. So, ensure that you bring together all your confidence and communication skills on the day of the presentation.

Dressing right is equally imperative. Don’t let your acne woes mar your look and spoil the effect of an efficient presentation. Set the problem straight with the help of effective items like Zenmed Derma Cleanse System. Prepare well and look great and you are sure to deliver the ultimate presentation. Watch out, a promotion might be on its way!

What can you do when you believe, that your present life isn’t working properly for you-or that it isn’t working at all?

This may be a tough question, but it’s an important one.

Symptoms that suggest you’re not satisfied with your present life include agonizing over your past, feeling sorry for yourself, complaining that “you didn’t do this or that,” and repeating your old failures.

After taking all the above indicators into consideration, there’s one more that’s a sure sign you aren’t satisfied with your present life: your excuse for not making any positive changes.

Let me tell you something. Whenever people ask me to tell them about my previous traumatic experiences, such as how my family escaped war in my homeland, I refuse to tell them anything.

Am I being rude by not responding to their request? Not at all. I’m protecting myself from allowing a past traumatic experience to ruin my present life.

When people start to talk about previous negative or traumatic experiences, they actually bring those past traumas into the present. In those moments, they live in the past.

Is dragging negative past experiences into the present helpful? No, it isn’t.

Bringing a bad, sad, or traumatic experience into the present also brings very strong emotional charges that are connected to that experience.

Of course, if you’ve had a strong emotional experience, the neural circuits of your brain will remember it forever. Each experience is accompanied by strong emotions, either positive or negative, and each negative experience leads to the release of “bad chemicals” (stress hormones).

When you talk about your past traumatic experience, you’re reliving it in the present time, thereby releasing the same stressful hormones twenty or more years after the event has occurred. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between the real-life event and your memory of that event, which is creating the same emotions.

The problem begins when people think and feel about the past and do nothing about the present.

You can’t change your past. You can change only your present. However, notice that I didn’t say you can change everything in your present life.

However, if you believe that something’s wrong with your present life, try to change it if you can.

Don’t dwell on the past while making excuses about life not being “fair.” (Whoever said that life is fair, anyway?) It’s just one more excuse for doing nothing to change your present life.

Start to change your life by changing your neurochemistry; you can do that simply by changing the way you think about things in your life.

Remember: Your thoughts and feelings create your present.

When you break the cycle of negativity that surrounds you, your present life will work for you.

In your role, do you deliver presentations to others? If so, here are 10 suggestions you might consider as part of your overall presentation development and rehearsal.

1. Review what is to be presented, and to whom. Make certain of the objectives of the meeting, the purpose of the presentation, and the time allotted. Understand the specific audience to whom the presentation will be made.

2. Read and re-read your presentation notes. From the draft to the final PowerPoint, carefully construct not only what will be presented, but begin to visualize the manner in which you will deliver it. Keep your audience in mind.

3. Cull the content for the ambiguous, unnecessary, and redundant, as appropriate. Streamline your slides and remarks so that the presentation flows crisply. Not too much; not too little. Find the balance that feels right.

4. Make sure your slides are in the most logical sequence. The presentation should build upon itself, and the slides should be ordered accordingly.

5. Determine in advance where to place humor, personal stories, or anecdotes. Presentations can be greatly enhanced with humor and personal stories, and their placement should be determined in advance for maximum effect.

6. Anticipate the questions. By knowing your audience, you should be able to anticipate many of their potential questions. By knowing your material, you should know the corresponding answers.

7. As a rehearsal, deliver the presentation to a small group. Go through your entire presentation to a trusted group of associates. Read their expressions and body language, ask for their questions, and make sure the presentation fits within the allotted time.

8. Ask for feedback. Ask the group how the presentation could be improved and strengthened. And remember, don’t be too thin-skinned about constructive criticism. You’ve asked for their help, so listen to them.

9. Adjust as necessary. Consider the group’s feedback along with your own instincts and judgment, and adjust the content as needed. Is the pacing right? Does the humor work? Are your words chosen wisely and effective? Is the delivery clear and confident? Keep searching for improvement.

10. Rehearse again. You can rehearse alone or with a group, but keep scrolling through the entire presentation. Know your stuff, along with exactly how you’ll present it.

Remember, the better your preparation, the more likely your presentation will be successful. Pay attention to your grooming and attire. Go to the front of the room and take a look before your presentation begins. Know with confidence that you are the authority on the material you are about to present.

Good luck. Take a deep breath and go get ‘em!

When you are placed in a spot where debt assistance is needed you can easily be torn between a few options that seem more than reliable. Of the reliable choices there are two that are without a doubt most popularly debated over, especially when held in two separate hands. In one hand you have the financial fixer of “debt consolidation.” In the other hand you have the financial alleviator of “debt negotiation.” Each are, on their own, very resourceful financial tools when it comes to correcting debt blunders and keeping them from reoccurring.

But, there are some definitive differences between the two. And they are so drastic that without mentioning them while going through the process of selecting between the two, you can easily find yourself picking the wrong, or less helpful choice.

The Financial Fixer: Debt Consolidation

With debt consolidation you are seeking some definite fixing. And most times you will get it. “How,” you ask? Debt consolidation takes all your spread out debts and gathers them into one large, more concentrated debt total. Usually, services offering debt consolidation have repayment plans that have been arranged prior with the majority of collection and credit card companies.

What occurs when you sign up for a debt consolidation program is some relief in how much you pay. An offer that provides you with a lower overall monthly payment (which is thanks to a lower interest rate arranged with involved creditors). This payment is, most times, significantly lower than what credit card companies will give you. In effect, you save a considerable amount of money each month.

The Financial Alleviator: Debt Negotiation

Also sometimes referred to as debt settlement, debt negotiation is the second option. For those who can’t actually go through with a debt consolidation program, debt negotiation is the fall back choice. If minimum payments can’t be made and repayment plans aren’t possible then negotiating is the next logical step to solve debt and credit balances.

While going through a debt negotiation you will be paying realistic monthly payments. At the same time that this occurs your company will actually be negotiating with your creditors for a lower total debt payoff, one that usually is agreed upon at around half of your due balance.

The Benefits of Both

The benefit of debt consolidation is clearly the organized and consolidated aspects that are wrapped up within it. Through bringing all your debt together one lump sum you will have less to stress about overall and, to boot, have an easier single payment to deal with. Factor in the lessened interest rates involved and there are even more additional savings for you to profit from in the long run.

On the other side, an obvious benefit to debt negotiation is that you stop dealing with hassling creditors trying to endlessly contact you. These annoyances are dealt with by your debt negotiation company. And, of course, you reap the benefit of getting your debt total whittled down to nearly half of what it was originally, all through mere negotiation.

You can negotiate credit card debt with the help of legitimate settlement firms. These firms charge certain amount of fee in return to negotiate credit card debt on your behalf.

Negotiation is a term where two or sometimes more parties try to reach a consensus through talks. In case of debt settlement, negotiation happens between debtor (borrower) and creditor (lender) with the help of third party called settlement firm. Initially banks were hesitant to agree on any kind of settlement but as more and more people started to file for bankruptcy, they are forced to adopt a lenient policy. They are now more open to negotiate credit card debt with debtors.

To negotiate credit card debt, you first need to search for an experienced settlement company, and that settlement company can be found online. Proper care and study is needed before you arrive on a particular firm. There are many fraudsters waiting to cheat on you. Many firms promote and use gimmicks to lure debtors; simple online search is not going to give you a real picture of what a particular settlement is capable of doing. Therefore, you need to look into relief networks for ranking on the basis of their work history and also need to take feedback from customers whom accounts they have settled earlier.

For comparison between different settlement firms you can use a parameter of:

1. Interest rates: how much reduction can they give?
2. Settlement fee: how much is it going to cost you?
3. Payment flexibility: When to and how much to pay?
4. Legitimacy: is the firm reliable and approved by others?

As you consider all the above mentioned point, it becomes quite evident as which firm to hire to negotiate credit card debt. Many debtors make the mistake of overlooking these points. They are more concerned about getting maximum discounts, that many a times leads to bad debt relief choices. Most important point to keep in mind is your payment program. The total amount to pay, minimum monthly amount to pay and the time duration in which you have to pay are some of the important points that one should never miss on.

All the options are possible if you negotiate well. If you are not comfortable with monthly payment, that can also be changed. All depends upon negotiation skill of the negotiation firms. Take online help but also refer to relief networks feedback and ranking.

Learning how to negotiate the right way is one of the most powerful skills a person can learn. Everyone does a lot of negotiating. Whether you are being interviewed for a job, buying a car or applying for a loan, negotiations will always be a part of life. It’s a very important skill that will serve useful in many situations.

The art and skill of negotiating is quite complex as a give and take relationship must exist between two parties. Both parties should win so nobody comes out a loser in a particular deal. A real estate investor for example, who wants to buy a house, can offer to pay the homeowner instant cash for a discounted price. The homeowner is able to liquidate his asset fast while the investor gets himself an inexpensive property that he can either sell again or rent out. Below are some helpful tips when you’re playing the negotiations game.

· When you are about to talk to someone about a particular deal, try to set goals about what you want to happen. Think about what you’re going to say and offer the other party in order to reach the goals that you have set. Plan your meeting well and make your plan work for you.

· Do some research about the person you’re about to meet. What is she like? What are her hobbies and favorite things? The information that you gathered can greatly help you in pleasing the other party and getting what you want. While you’re doing your research, you may even discover what the other party really needs; thus, giving you an advantage.

· Give the person what he wants if you can afford it. This presents you in a positive light and can open windows of opportunities for you. Try not to say no right away and study what the person is asking from you. If you can be able to give what he is asking in exchange for something that you’d want to have, then you might as well give it.

· If you’re the seller or business owner, try to maintain control of the meeting or dialogue. Bear in mind that you are representing your business where money is involved. Be friendly but in control and motivate without being overbearing. You can make an outline of the things that you will be discussing to avoid going off course. Get back on track when the topic deviates into something else.

· Ask the same question in different ways to see if the other person is lying. For example, if you want to know the earning capabilities of the person you’re dealing with, you can first ask a straightforward question on how much he earns. And then during the course of the conversation, ask this question again in many different ways. You can ask him for instance, how much his household budget is or how much he is willing to pay for monthly amortizations. Write down all the information that you’ve gathered and study it later to see if that person is telling the truth.

The negotiating power is most useful in trade and business, but people use it unconsciously on a regular basis. You negotiate when you shop at a flea market. You also negotiate when you are hiring someone to work for you. Thus, knowing how to negotiate gives you an edge and a greater advantage over the others who don’t. While negotiations are a part of life, it’s a plus to have this skill and work things to your advantage.

Despite the best efforts of some of the world’s best academics and practitioners to develop winning strategies, there is no universal set of irrefutable rules governing the complex process of negotiation. We do know, however, that good negotiators must be flexible. They must walk a fine line between domination and appeasement, embracing a range of proven behaviors including the following…

1. Know exactly what you want and draw two lines.

This is the key. Determine your bottom line position before beginning negotiation, by identifying your goal specifically, with dates, numbers, prices, and so on. Imagine yourself drawing this proverbial ‘line in the sand’ and then drawing a second line a few steps in advance of it. The second will be the line at which you begin negotiations. In this way, at worst, you’ll be negotiated back to your first line in the sand.

2. Make sure this person can say yes.

Negotiation can be a long and protracted process. You don’t really want to get into a situation where, after many hours of negotiation, the other party has to OK with a superior an agreement you have worked long and hard to negotiate. So how do you know if this person can negotiate the deal? Just ask. Do whatever you can to negotiate directly with the person who can say yes.

3. Enter negotiations with a win-win attitude.

If you win at the expense of the other party, the deal will invariably return to haunt you. Continually adopt a win-win attitude because the only truly successful negotiation is one in which both parties believe their needs have been met.

4. Apply proven strategies.

Bearing in mind that you’ll want to secure the best deal for yourself without making the other side feel that it has lost, consider these strategies for clinching the deal:

o Always allow yourself negotiating space by asking for more than you expect to get-you might just get it!

o Resist the first offer-you can’t have the other side thinking they were too generous.

o Learn to flinch-your reaction, real or sham, will be noticed and perhaps encourage concessions.

o Be a reluctant seller-your perceived caution will encourage a higher offer.

o Look for ways of solving the other side’s problems first-and then sit back and watch them meet your demands because they’ll be wanting you to follow through on your end of the deal.

o Talk about the potential for future deals (or lack thereof)-by ensuring the other side sees the long-term benefits of sealing the deal this time.

5. Apply pressure by playing games.

A great deal of successful negotiation is game-playing. Try these games:

o Play Dumb-a game that allows you room and time to maneuver. You might indicate your agreement with the deal but state you will have to pass it by a higher authority. Return the next day with the news that the higher authority wants more concessions.

o Time Trap-a power game exploiting the fact that the closer you get to the deadline the greater the possibility of concessions being offered. When both sides are facing the same deadline, the least powerful side is going to feel the greater time pressure.

o Goodies and Baddies-a game that shifts the blame to another, leaving you smelling like roses. You indicate that you want to do the deal but your partner or boss won’t buy it. Apologize and suggest concessions from the other side that may get the negotiations back on track.

o That’s It-a game of bluff in which you walk away from a deal, either forever or to encourage the other

side to make concessions. It is never a ‘take it or leave it’ ultimatum. Be prepared to say, ‘I’m sorry, we won’t be doing business after all.’ And if they come back to you, don’t drop everything to restart negotiations-over-eagerness could lose the day for you.

6. Make power your partner.

Negotiations are power games. Try using these five main sources of power, either separately or combined: Legitimate or positional power-achieved through symbols like titles, address, physical presentation, and office setting. Exploit all of those symbols, but guard against falling for their’s.

Reward power-achieved by the other side knowing what they will get from doing business with you. Make sure they know what’s in it for them.

Coercive power-achieved by the other side knowing that they lose out by not doing business with you. Third-party testimonials can be extremely coercive.

Reverent power-achieved when others know that there are some things you will never deviate from-your core values, for example. You can always be relied upon to respond in a particular way.

Situation power-achieved when one side only has the power. Ever tried to get the attendant at the ticketing counter to provide you with a pre-booked ticket when you have no identification?

7. Remember also…

o Never make a concession without getting one in return.

o Focus on needs, not on personalities. Keep egos out of it.

o Never enter negotiations when everyone knows you have to pull off the deal-it’s the worst possible time. If you don’t have the luxury of negotiating well in advance, then at least feign a lack of urgency.

o Establish a clear and specific agreement that leaves no room for confusion or reneging.

o A deal is made, not won.

Being a good negotiator is a skill you will find useful in many situations. The skills you will develop will facilitate your being more effectively assertive, being a better problem solver, and being a better conflict manager. Developing the skills is sometimes tedious and requires a lot of practice. The payoff is both substantial and positive, though.

At first, it will be useful to move through the negotiation process in a step-by-step manner. With practice and experience, you will gradually get to a point where effective negotiating is second nature to you and is not something that requires a lot of detailed activity. At first, though, it is important to develop a negotiating plan and then seek out opportunities to practice. It is a little like learning to play the piano. Learning how is tedious and time consuming. Being able to play well, however, is a very satisfying thing indeed.

PRELIMINARY ACTIVITIES

What do you want that I have, control, or can do? As odd as it may seem, this is frequently the step that inexperienced negotiators leave out. Very specifically, what do you want that I have? Here, we are talking about things, about concrete and tangible objects. What do you want that I control? Here we are talking about opportunities, resources, time, or other less tangible ‘things.’ What do you want me to do that I can do? Here, it is important to think in terms of things that anyone with my skills, in my position, and with my resources ‘can do.’ In very specific terms, what do you want from me?

With ‘it’ referring to what you want, can I actually give it to you? This is another point that amateur negotiators frequently overlook. What they want is something that the other person cannot, as a matter of individual choice, give to them. Perhaps other people are involved, maybe it is not something that the individual has the right or authority to simply give away, perhaps it is not something that the person can actually do, or maybe there are other factors that have to be taken into consideration other than simply deciding to give it to you. Under these conditions, simply negotiating with you is not enough, since I cannot simply give you what you want. Be sure that your negotiations are directed to the individual or people who can give it to you. Who all do you need to include in the negotiations? You should not leave anyone out.

Assuming I can give you what you want, under what conditions do you think I can give it to you? If you believe that I will simply give it to you without conditions, there is nothing about which to negotiate. Simply ask me and I will give it to you. Here, though, let’s assume that you think I will give it to you under some conditions. In specific terms, what are those conditions?

Under what conditions will you accept it – accept what you want – assuming I am willing to give it to you? Yes, you undoubtedly have conditions. Suppose you want to use my car for a week while yours is in the shop. It is my car, and I can let you use it. You think I will let you use it if you agree to take good care of it, bring it back with a full tank of gas, and you pay my bus fare for the week. Suppose my conditions are a little different, however.

I agree to let you use my car for one week if you agree to make my car payments for one year. You will undoubtedly say, ‘No way.’ The point is that you do have conditions. Under what conditions will you accept what you want if I give it to you?

NEGOTIATING FOCUS

A successful negotiation is a conditional transaction. We do business under certain conditions. If you are still in the game to this point, you have a clear statement of what you want, a set of conditions that you think I will have in doing business, and your conditions for doing business. Make a chart with two columns with the left column including a list of your conditions and the right column including a list of my conditions. Now, what are the points of convergence: conditions on your list and on mine? The more points of convergence there are, the further along the negotiations are going in. Your goal, of course, will be to reach a point where there is complete convergence, a point where the conditions on your list are the same as the conditions on my list.

What are the points of divergence: conditions that are on your list but are not on mine and conditions that are on my list but not on yours? Being careful to be very specific, now, make a master list that includes only our points of divergence, noting beside each point whether it is my condition or your condition. We will then negotiate our points of divergence.

As a central negotiating principle, keep in mind that you are never negotiating about what you want. That is a given and is actually nonnegotiable. If you did not want it, there is no point in pursuing it. We are simply negotiating the terms and conditions under which I will give it to you: our points of divergence. Amateur negotiators frequently fall into the trap of focusing on what they want. Skilled negotiators focus on the points of divergence: what we will call the transfer conditions.

CONSIDERATION AND LIMITS

What do you have, what do you control, or what can you do that would be of value to me? Look at my transfer conditions. You may use them as a guide for determining what may be of value to me in this particular negotiating situation. Make a list that includes what you can give to me in this particular negotiating situation. Make notation of why you think it would be of value to me. What benefits will I derive? What you give to me combined with the benefits I will derive from it represent the consideration you are offering in the negotiation.

As a summary point, you have determined what you want, have determined the transfer conditions, and now have determined what your consideration can be to induce me to follow through with the transfer. The stage for negotiating is set.

What are your negotiating limits? Review your list of consideration elements. Can you actually transfer control of them to me? What are the long and short term implications for you of making this transfer? Once you have considered the implications, revise your consideration list to include only those things you can give to me without jeopardizing yourself over time. This final list is what constitutes your negotiating limits: the maximum consideration you are prepared to introduce into the negotiations. At no point, and especially not during a specific negotiating session, should you go beyond your negotiating limits, no matter how tempting it may be. Yes, you may miss an opportunity once in a great while. The advantage to you is this: making an unexpected offer you cannot refuse is a game run by truly skilled negotiators. Assume that he/she is at least as skilled as you are and is not about to ‘give away the store.’ What seems like an unexpected prize will usually turn out to be something for which you will pay dearly and without the benefit of prior thought or analysis. As good negotiators say, ‘Never come to the bait!’

Importantly, following all of the above steps gets you to what you think will be the final outcome of the negotiations. You think you will get what you want, the full consideration I have to offer. You have also determined your negotiating limits: the maximum consideration you will offer. If you want, simply make your best offer on a take it or leave it basis. This is, of course, not negotiating. It is rather simply making a nonnegotiable offer. What should you do if you want to negotiate, though? Simply list the preliminary transfer conditions: the least you are willing to accept and what you believe – hope – might be the least I would accept in return. These then represent the minimum transfer conditions. If you have carefully completed your preliminary work as outlined above, negotiations may now begin.